If he’s the type of guy who tells you that he doesn’t exactly know what he’s looking for in relation to you, then that probably means that he’s not keeping it real with you. He’s probably not looking to get deep into things with you. You probably shouldn’t assume that he’s going to ease into things with you. You probably shouldn’t lead yourself to believe that you’re the girl that he’s been looking for his whole life. You shouldn’t think that he’s eventually going to grow into the man that you need him to be.
Don’t think for a second that there’s even the slightest possibility of the both of you developing your relationship into something more than it already is. If he’s telling you that he isn’t sure about where he wants to take things with you, then he’s probably not the guy for you. If he’s telling you that he just doesn’t know what he’s looking for in love and life, then you’re probably not it. If he’s the kind of guy who just can’t be sure of how he feels about you, then you’re not the girl for him.
If he’s the guy who is just forcing you to challenge him and chase after him, then you’re not the girl for him. Know this: if a guy truly loves you, he won’t be making you chase after him. If a guy truly wants to be with you, then there would be nothing in this world that would stop him from getting with you. He wouldn’t allow any impediments to get in between the two of you getting together. If a guy is truly in love with you, he would do everything in his power to make sure that the two of you end up together.
He would be willing to pour every ounce of strength that he has into getting things to work between the two of you. If a guy is truly in love with you, he wouldn’t be passive in his approach to getting you to fall for him. He wouldn’t be so cold and distant. If a guy is truly in love with you, he wouldn’t really be deferring anything to anyone else. He would be taking an active role in trying to get you to fall head over heels with him. He wouldn’t want to make you harder than you should.
He wouldn’t be leading you around on a wild goose chase with him. He wouldn’t be playing any childish and immature games with you. He’s going to really show you just how much he cares about you. He’s going to show you just how invested he is in the idea of the two of you spending the rest of your lives together. He is going to make it clear from the start that he wants a genuine future with you. If a man is truly in love with you, he wouldn’t be vague about it. He wouldn’t be dodging your questions about his feelings or his plans for the two of you.
He wouldn’t be acting shady in his behavior with you. If a guy is telling you that he’s just not cut out for any sort of commitment just yet, then you can’t be reading too much into that. You shouldn’t be wasting any time trying to read into the things that he’s saying. When he says that he’s not ready for commitment, he’s essentially saying that he doesn’t want to commit himself to you. You shouldn’t be making excuses for him. You shouldn’t be trying to make something out of nothing. You shouldn’t be forcing something that just isn’t there.
He doesn’t want to have a relationship with you. Period. He’s not in love with you and he’s probably never going to fall in love with you. So you have to make a choice. You have to choose if you’re going to allow yourself to chase after him or if you’re going to cut yourself loose and just live your own life. You can’t keep allowing yourself to live in a fantasy land where you get everything that you want. You can’t keep falling into delusions. You can’t keep allowing yourself to be fooled by your own optimism. You have to keep things real.
You have to be mature enough to acknowledge that sometimes, things just aren’t meant to be. And when that happens, you need to move on and make the best out of the things that you are given. You can’t force yourself into situations that aren’t meant for you. Love is something that you need to continuously work on; but it’s never something that you have to force out of thin air. And make no mistake about it; if he’s the kind of guy who is forcing you to chase after him, it’s not love. He’s just playing games with you. And you shouldn’t have to play if you don’t want to.