People destroy many relationships by expecting same things from their new partners as their former did. One have to understand, once you are into new relationship, you cannot lift the burden of your past. There could be reasons for the part where you are unable to move on, in your life and past still haunts you. May be you didn’t give yourself enough time for the recovery from break up. It is a famous saying; Let it go because if you didn’t let it go, it may ruin your new encounters to happiness.
You need to have a consistent positive attitude towards past like not totally forgetting things of yesterday but learn from mistakes done there. It is very important to make peace with it, if ‘your old partner did let you down’, it is over now and you have to move on to new ventures. You have to make sure that, the person in past is no longer hurting you because that would only pave your way to new relationships.
Let’s keep it simple; forget the past, enjoy the present and move towards the future. And it is better not to daydream about new relationships in your mind but let it unfold with time. Following are the signs which might help you in knowing the answer, is your past still haunting you and how you can deal with it?
1. Stop Comparing now to yesterday:
This could be part of your nature, it may be hard on you, to forget what already has gone and have trust on new people in short times. The real damage comes when you start the comparison of yesterday and present in your relationship. Take the example of food, music which is definitely going to bring bad memories associated with your old partner. Well, instead of this comparison thing, you can find new things in your partner especially things you like because that will transform your sadness into the happiness.
2. Sense of self-doubt:
Sometimes you begin to doubt yourself, you start seeing worse in you, thus an emotional breakdown starts which may involve other people in it. This sense of doubtfulness can make you feel of being judged by your partner or you start judging your partner in return that could be aggressive or thoughts of losing new partner you may get defensive in usual arguments. This fear of being judged will only make your life worse. If you are looking at negativity in your partner every moment then you are hurting not only your partner but yourself.
3. Have you ever got cheated?
We all have experiences good as well as bad ones. If you ever got cheated by your partner in past, you sure want to avoid it. This could make you suspicious like forever since that cheating incident happened. It feels terrible to have a partner who doesn’t trust you and if he or she is sneaking into your phone, Facebook, emailsthings will not end up good for both partners.
4. How can you make this work unless it isn’t meant to?
You have to show commitment in your relationship and then see where it goes. While at the same time, save yourself from ghost of past. And if it still doesn’t work, just remember you are a free soul, and never stop, just keep moving with one lesson Don’t repeat mistakes. Learn from the past, enjoy the present while moving towards the future.