A relationship – a healthy one – involves having two people who are heavily invested in making things work with one another because they have a kind of emotional connection with each other. It all starts with an initial attraction, and then over time, that attraction grows into something more real and prominent. Some would even have the audacity to call it love. And that’s the ultimate goal, really. It’s to fall in love with someone who loves us in return.
But sometimes, we have a tendency to fall in love with the people who are wrong for us without even realizing it. And it’s always unfortunate whenever that happens. You fall in love and you try your best to make things work with that person. You become very invested in this individual and the possible future that the two of you could share together. But then, down the line, you start to discover some hitches. You don’t feel fulfilled. You don’t feel happy.
You don’t feel like you are getting as much as you possibly can out of this relationship – and there’s a reason for that. You’re in love with someone who is just plain wrong for you. It happens all too often and you shouldn’t be so surprised if it happens to you. After all, you can’t really help who you fall in love with. Yes, ideally you would fall in love with someone who adds value to your life; someone who makes this world just a better place to live in. But that isn’t always the case.
Sometimes, life is going to throw us a curve ball and we have to be able to recognize it in that moment. Because otherwise, we are only going to be hurting ourselves with our own delusions and our own ignorance. But how exactly do we know if we’re falling in love with someone who is wrong for us? Love has this way of giving us rose-colored lenses. We highlight the must beautiful things in the world and we blind ourselves to all of its flaws. And that’s not something that we can afford to do if we want to be able to protect our own hearts.
We have to make sure that we are always keeping ourselves guarded. We have to make sure that we only open ourselves up to the people who are actually right for us. And that is why you always need to be able to take a very objective and introspective look at your love; and make sure that it is free of biases. And in order for you to gain more perspective on the matter, it’s important for you to first understand why people fall in love with the people who are wrong for them in the first place. And that’s what this article is going to highlight. Here are 5 common reasons as to why some of us fall in love with the wrong people.
1. You feel like you can really relate to this person.
You might be broken. And this other person might be broken as well. And on that level, you feel like you can really connect with one another. But sadly, just because you are able to relate to each other doesn’t mean that you are right for each other. You have to understand that making a relationship work isn’t merely about relating to the person you’re with.
2. You feel like you can help fix this broken person.
No one is yours to fix – and that’s the problem right there. You think that you have the right to invest yourself in the life of another person because you think you can fix them. You can’t and you shouldn’t. That’s not what love is about. And you’re better off falling for someone who is already well-put together.
3. You think that you’re the one who is at fault.
Sometimes, you think that you’re the problem. You think that you’re the reason that you can’t seem to find love in your life. And so you settle. You COERCE yourself into thinking that you’re in love with someone even when they’re undeserving of your love.
4. You have friends who pressure you into loving someone who you don’t want to.
Peer pressure. It happens a lot – but not many would assume that it happens in love as well. There are so many of us who just choose to fall in love with a person (even when they’re wrong for us) just because we think that it’s what others expect of us. And that’s a mistake.
5. You don’t really understand what love is yet.
This is probably the most common culprit of all. A lot of us will make the mistake of thinking that we’re ready for love even when we’re far from it. We need to understand that love isn’t for the immature. And you might not even be ready for love and yet here you are, putting yourself out there; without even having the faintest idea of what you want and what you need out of a relationship.